Why Do We Settle? Reasons & Solutions

Through my experience, here’s how I define Settling

Agreeing to something that is LESS than what your heart truly desires.

We settle because we are not living from a place of authenticity. This isn’t always a conscious choice, and is usually the result of a lifetime worth of subconscious habits. When you live your life from your most authentic self, you eliminate any fear based habits. While we might have particular personality traits that enhance the diversity of our authenticity, we all share common fundamentals of power, divinity, magic, creativity, and fearlessness. Regardless of what you’ve experienced in this life or how you’ve acted, these fundamental qualities are our divine birth right.

 

HOW DO YOU DISCOVER YOUR MOST YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF?

You hear the phrase “authentic self” a lot in the spiritual community. And while you might be intrigued to discover what that means for you, how do you actually do this? What is the logical step-by-step process to discovering your authenticity? How do you know what your heart truly desires? Discovering these things are vital to your happiness and health. And of course this is different for everyone.

There are many ways to initiate your desire to self discovery. One way which could be appealing to you can start with choosing to NOT SETTLE in any aspect of your life.

Here’s a helpful and practical tip on how to start the journey. It all starts with your imagination. Take the time to mentally create your dream/fairy tale life. Don’t filter yourself, and allow your thoughts to run wild. As you’re doing this, WRITE IT ALL DOWN. Write it all down to the very specifics. Allow your heart to guide you through this process. The mind will try and persuade you that your dreams are impossible to achieve, but ignore that voice and keep tapping into your heart when this happens. Allow your inner child (the one that knows no obstacles) to help you create your dreams.

 

THE WAYS WE SETTLE IN SOCIAL CIRCUMSTANCES

  1. Accepting unhealthy and unbalanced romantic relationships
  2. Allowing family members to treat us with disrespect
  3. Choosing friendships that don’t positively encourage/support/ influence you
  4. Settling for a career that isn’t aligned with your hearts desires
  5. Allowing figures of authority to treat you disrespectfully

Have any of these situations presented themselves in your life? If you find you’re experiencing these situations, it’s a great time to sit down with yourself and set the intention to break the habit of settling.


 

With that said, Let’s get into the contents of this video.

4 GENERAL REASONS WE SETTLE

  1. Too Concerned with Other Peoples Opinions
  2. You see the Potential in something, and think you can FIX everything
  3. We are Fearful of the Unknown Outcome
  4.  We are Comfortable – Why Change things?

1. Too Concerned with Other Peoples Opinions

Choosing a career path can easily be influenced by the people and situations around you. Especially when you’re starting your professional life as a young adult. When we choose jobs that make our resume look good or choose a job to enhance our social status, we will only be temporarily fulfilled.

How do you choose a career (or any situation for that matter) that will fulfill you for the long term?

You honor your happiness by choosing situations that align with your passion.

But what if your passion won’t make you enough money to sustain your lifestyle? Ask yourself, what skills can you take away from your passion? How can you apply these skills to your everyday life? When you align with your passion, you are automatically aligning with your authentic self. Therefore, the universe will conspire ways to support your dream.

SOLUTION : Work on your Confidence.

Finding your inner confidence gives you inner security. It’s crucial to build up confidence in your dreams, regardless if people understand your desires. There will always be haters and people encouraging you to fail. Having confidence in your dreams is the easiest way to quiet all the distractions. Confidence is also the massive self esteem boost you need to actually accomplish them! You will be respected and greatly rewarded for having the courage to discover your authenticity. When you set the example to live this way, believe it or not you’re helping the world to change.


2. You see the Potential in something, and think you can FIX everything

This is especially true for women. I’m sure many men experience this as well, but I can only speak from my perspective. It is actually a spiritual gift to have the wisdom and foresight to see someones potential. Being able to see someones potential is the gift of seeing someones most authentic self.

And while this is a very special gift, you can only rely so much on someones potential. Unfortunately you can’t force someone to live up to their potential. You might be able to see the truth of who they are and try to guide them, but one has to discover this on their own. Nobody likes to be told who to be, or what to do, even if it comes from a wise place of love. Living up to your potential is a decision we all have to make for ourselves.

SOLUTION : Re-Asses the situation

Sometimes you need to step away from a situation to get fresh new insight. Re-evaluate  the things you’re willing to compromise on. And keep in mind, your pure happiness is never something that needs compromising.


3. We are Fearful of the Unknown Outcome

Low expectations and mental limitations keep us from manifesting our dreams into our reality. When doubt creeps into your thoughts, you’re unintentionally setting road blocks to achieving your highest potential.

  1. Fear #1 – We aren’t CAPABLE of achieving our Dreams

    We end up settling for the 10% version of what we want without realizing it. Let’s say you have dreams of being a millionaire. You do the visualizations, positive affirmations, but don’t see your world transforming fast enough. When results don’t happen overnight, you give up and say $100k will be just fine, as this seems like a more reasonable goal to achieve. But this is not necessarily true. Cutting yourself short only creates more obstacles.

  2. Fear #2 – We don’t DESERVE to achieve our dreams

    This is a very common issue of self worth. Nobody is immune to experiencing issues of worthiness. Having a low level of self worth has to do with discovering your insecurities and where you lack confidence. Working on issues in regards to self worth is extremely beneficial to discovering your most authentic self.

SOLUTION : Work through issues of Self Worth and expectation.

There are very practical ways to work through issues of self worth. I encourage you to seek out guided meditations online, or do physical activities that shake up the energy in your lower body. Yoga and exercise are an excellent way to discovering your spiritual side. If you want to take it a step further, there are many energetic healers that will help you to release blockages through body massage therapy, reiki healing, or even past life regression. Do your research and see where you are lead!


4. I’m Comfortable – Why Change things?

A lot of the times when we settle, the option is right in front of our face. We use our logical mind to rationalize a particular decision, as often your current situation brings about guaranteed security and comfort. This is only an issue when your gut is telling you a different story. When you feel that nagging desire to switch things up, listen to it! Following your intuition is a very real way to navigate your life, and in fact has literally saved my life!

Getting in-tune with your gut feeling can be confusing at the beginning. You’ll go back and forth questioning if it’s your mind making the decision or your instinct. As you set your intention to better connect with your gut instinct, awareness alone will help bring about clarity in your decision making process.

SOLUTION : Stepping out your comfort zone means doing something new.

Being comfortable is only an issue when you do it out of fear. But remember, the core of who you are is naturally infinitely powerful and fearless. A divine warrior so to speak. The way to step out your comfort zone is doing things you wouldn’t normally do. When you invite new experiences into your life, you’re growing. You don’t have to partake in astronomical changes, start off slow and steady, otherwise you might quickly discourage yourself.


The core of all the reasons we settle – we are not honoring or living from a place of authenticity. Our most authentic self is powerful, divine, magical, creative, and fearless. Life is not a one-way street where you can create the PERFECT experience. You will constantly be presented with obstacles that will challenge you. Where your power lies is choosing your perception. Will the obstacles make you miserable? Or will you use them as ladders into the next level? The choice is always in your hands!


MY PARTING PRAYER – It is my wish for you to never settle in any area of your life, EVER AGAIN! I pray you find the strength and courage to face your fears and live a life of authenticity. May you be protected a

AFFIRMATIONS

1) I am capable of facing my fears, and choose to align with my most authentic self.

2) I am capable of living my dreams.


WITH LOVE,

MELI THE RULER ❤

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3 Comments

  1. I totally agree with you. Fear and uncertainty are reasons why we settle. But I believe once you find yourself, and know what you want, you will surely have no reason to settle.

    Like

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